My journey began with awareness of a crack in the wall of denial that held back the depths of an internal dungeon, where shadows of despair danced with the death of my soul…but a whisper dared to make a sound. At first, it was barely audible, a mere breath that said “enough” followed by self-doubt. But it persisted, gaining strength with each passing moment, until it became a resounding call; a realization that my external façade of I’m “okay” and I’m “fine” was concealing an internal struggle and tempestuous conflict. In the shadowy depths of my internal prison, the whisper grew stronger, insistent, powerful. I felt life needing to burst from within, like a deep empty cavern with an echo of a voice that had been stifled, muffled and denied. Ready to explode within my soul I felt a powerful glimmer as the voice grew louder. "Break these chains, replace pain with joy, transform mere existence into vibrant life." This was the genesis of a profound metamorphosis, where a captive soul, long accustomed to the weight of its shackles chose to dream of flight and dared to soar. Choice triumphed over chance. Doing something different overpowered the fear of change. Bravery eclipsed worn out excuses. Fierce motivation overshadowed manipulation. No longer a victim of circumstance, I became a victor over adversity. Where the weeds of “victim” and “self-pity” took root like tendrils in my psyche, self-discovery blossomed from the fertile soil of self-acceptance. Trust, a fragile sapling like a delicate seedling gently coaxed into bloom grew into a towering oak noble and true. Nurtured by unseen hands, its roots dug deep, rising high, a testament to God’s love and grace. Boundaries stood tall as guardians of newfound freedom. Courage became my unwavering compass. Self-discovery became my guiding star. My abuse, a crucible of transformation was in many ways a gift that forged me, tempered my spirit and made me into the person I am today. My past, a harsh sculptor, carved my present. Abandoned, I learned to be my own champion. Betrayed, I vowed to act with integrity. Heartbroken, I discovered empathy. Unheard, I became a better listener. Silenced, I found my voice to speak out. Shunned, I yearned for connection, forging unbreakable bonds.Suffering sculpted strength. Choices stolen, I championed the power of decision. Injustices endured; I chose to stand against tyranny. God illuminated my path, taking my past and transforming my life to recover the ”me” that had been buried and began to reveal purpose out of the incredible excruciating pain. Trauma was not going to dictate my future or define my identity of who I am. In this odyssey of healing, old ways of thinking crumbled like ancient ruins. My negative thoughts were challenged and conquered. My core beliefs were reshaped like clay that became exquisite pottery. Joy once stolen was reclaimed with fierce determination. I reclaimed my body a temple once desecrated. I regained my soul and spirit that had been left for dead and I found new life. My mind was rebuilt, restored, and rewired, becoming a resilient fortress. Safety both internal and external was redefined and fortified. Trust that had grown dim like a fragile flame was rekindled brightly shining like a beacon in the darkest night. Power long dormant awakened with a roar as I took it back from the captors who had stolen it from me. Self-acceptance and forgiveness released the shackled weight and heaviness of toxic shame like a blast from a jet engine taking off in flight. Unspoken dreams buried deep and long forgotten were reborn as they were unearthed and nurtured within me. Toxic emotions of resentment, self-hatred, and guilt festered in the darkness causing depression and a dark night of my soul like a malignant growth. But they were released like black smoke carried away by the soft warm winds of compassion, dissipating into oblivion. Arising from the ashes of the rubble of my life, I embraced new challenges and won victories. My understanding deepened; my wisdom hard-earned. From the momentum of healing grew a desire to give back through my lived experience. My empathy for others blossomed into sharing messages of hope drawing from the deep wells of shared humanity. My life is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. In this transformation, chains became wings, prisons turned into launch pads, obstacles morphed into opportunities, roadblocks became mountains to conquer. I emerged as an advocate for myself and others. This empowering journey called recovery is not just about survival- it is a rebirth, a reclamation of life in its most vibrant form. My journey is far from finished. My abuse did not defeat my spirit. Trauma could not squelch the fighter in me. There is a warrior within me. My path, a spiral of growth and determination has not been linear, but I would rather soar on newfound wings than crawl in familiar familial shadows. Isaiah 60:1-2 Arise, shine, for your light has come and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you.
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